A book can help with
For the questions about how bodies work, and why everyone’s is different.
Children are curious about bodies from very early on, their own and everyone else’s, and the questions have a way of arriving at full volume in the supermarket queue. Meeting that curiosity plainly and calmly, rather than with a fluster, tells a child their body is a normal, good thing to understand, not a subject to feel odd about.
Books take the awkwardness out of it for everyone. They give the proper words, answer the questions in the right amount of detail for the age, and mean a child hears it steadily from you rather than in garbled form from the playground. As they grow towards puberty, having the right book on the shelf matters even more.
Here’s what I’d reach for. Find your child’s age and start there, and do have a read through first so you’re happy with the level.
Bodies, plainly and simply
For little ones it’s the basics: naming the parts without embarrassment, understanding that all bodies are different, and the very first where-did-I-come-from questions.
From the author of How Are You Feeling Today?, this answers the early questions about bodies, where babies come from and growing up in clear, calm, unembarrassed language, with plenty of guidance for the grown-up doing the reading. It’s pitched just right for a curious young child, honest without being too much. A reassuring one to have ready before the questions come.
or on Bookshop.org
Babette Cole’s cheerful, funny take on the very start of puberty, in which a pair of hormone characters explain to a young child what’s coming as bodies begin to change. Because it laughs its way through, it takes the fear and the ick out of the subject long before it’s actually due. A gentle, giggly first introduction.
or on Bookshop.org
Getting ready for puberty
As the first changes come into view, a clear guide lets a child know what to expect before it arrives, which is far kinder than being caught by surprise.
An Usborne guide that walks a child through the whole of puberty, the physical changes, the feelings, periods, hormones, in clear, inclusive language that covers every kind of body. It’s made with input from sex educators, so it’s sound as well as friendly. A solid one-book-covers-it choice for this age.
or on Bookshop.org
A straightforward, reassuring guide written for boys as their bodies begin to change, covering the physical side, feelings, hygiene and a sensible bit on how puberty affects girls too. Practical and calm, and a good one for a child to read on their own.
or on Bookshop.org
Periods, bras, skin, hair, sweat and what counts as normal, answered by an agony aunt who has plainly heard every one of these questions before and is not embarrassed by any of them. Forty-eight pages, so it can be read in a sitting or dipped into. It also explains what happens to boys, which most girls want to know and few ask about.
or on Bookshop.org
The fuller picture
Nearer the teenage years a child can take a fuller, franker book, one that treats bodies, periods and the beginnings of the bigger questions honestly.
A frank, funny and thoroughly modern guide to periods, answering the real questions a child actually has without a scrap of embarrassment. It’s warm and inclusive, and it treats getting your period as a normal part of life rather than a hushed one. A brilliant one to hand over, or read together, as that stage approaches.
or on Bookshop.org
The comprehensive classic, covering bodies, puberty, feelings, reproduction and sexual health in clear, matter-of-fact terms, with frank illustrations throughout. It’s thorough and honest, so it’s one to look through yourself first and share when you feel your child’s ready. For many families it’s the book that answers the questions properly, all in one place.
or on Bookshop.org
Usborne’s full guide for boys, and the counterpart to the period book above: voices, erections, shaving, skin, moods, and what is happening to girls at the same time. Nearly three hundred pages, so it is a book to own rather than borrow. Frank about sex and relationships, so read it first and decide when.
or on Bookshop.org
Margaret is eleven, waiting for a period that will not come, doing the exercises, comparing herself with everybody, and arguing with God about all of it. Published in 1970 and still the novel on this subject, because Blume never once condescends. The story gives a child somewhere to put the waiting that a guidebook cannot.
or on Bookshop.org
Blume wrote this straight after Margaret, on purpose, to do the same job from a boy’s side, and it is still the closest thing there is. Tony is twelve, his family have come into money and moved, and he cannot say a word to anyone about erections, wet dreams, or the stomach pains the whole thing is giving him. It is franker than Margaret: there is a thread in which he watches a sixteen-year-old neighbour undressing from his window, which the book treats as something he feels wretched about rather than something to enjoy. Read it first and decide.
or on Bookshop.org
Book links are Amazon affiliate links, meaning I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. More on this.
Something to do together
A simple ‘question box’ idea, so a child can ask the things they’re too shy to say out loud and know they’ll get a straight answer. I’m making it now, and it will live here soon.
The aim with all of this is simply that a child grows up feeling their body is normal and understood, and that you’re an easy person to ask. A good book on the shelf does a surprising amount of that work for you.
So answer the questions as they come, in the amount that fits the age, and let the reading be matter-of-fact rather than a great solemn Talk. Reading these through first means you’ll always be a step ahead of the next question.
These pages are written for the grown-ups looking after a child: parents, teachers and carers. A good book can sit beside a worried child, though it never stands in for a real conversation, or for proper support when something feels too big to carry alone.