The Children’s Shelf

The Children’s A to Z

A book for every big and little thing.

Because something small to us can be enormous to them.

A girl in a jumper reading on a stack of books, with a sleeping cat and a lantern

This is a shelf for the whole of childhood, the heavy days and the ordinary ones. Find what is going on and open the page. Inside, it splits by your child’s age, with a few well-loved books for each, and a word from me on why each one helps.

It’s written for the grown-ups doing the reading: parents, teachers and carers. I used books this way with my own two long before I knew it was called bibliotherapy, and most of what’s gathered here is simply what I’d reach for myself.

A boy reading on a stack of books, with a sleeping dog, a globe and a rabbit

Say it however you would say it out loud. Won’t go to school, wakes in the night, no one to sit with at lunch.

A
Angerwhen it all boils over Anxiety and worrythe what-ifs that won’t switch off A new babybecoming a big brother or sister ADHDthe restless mind that won’t sit still Adoptionquestions about where I come from Apologisingsaying sorry, and meaning it Autisma different way of seeing the world
Appearance and how I looktoo tall, too short, glasses, braces, the mirrorsoon
Saying goodbyewhen they will not let you leavesoon
Asking for helpwhen something is too big to manage alonesoon
B
Bedtime and the darkthe nightly stand-off Being bravedoing the thing anyway Bullyingbeing picked on, and what helps Boredomthe long, wet afternoon Body changeshow bodies grow, and why we’re all different
Birthdays and special daysthe party, the exclusion, the two-homes Christmassoon
Biting, hitting and hurtingthe toddler who lashes out first and cries aftersoon
C
Changewhen the familiar shifts Confidencefeeling too small for the moment Curiositythe endless why Competing and losingwinning, losing, and being a good sport
Crushes and first feelingsliking someone, and everybody finding outsoon
D
Death and grieflosing someone, or something, loved Divorce and separationtwo homes now Disabilitymine, or someone else’s The Doctor and the Dentistthe appointments that frighten Disappointmentwhen the day doesn’t go your way
E
Big Emotionsputting names to the enormous ones Embarrassmentwanting the floor to swallow you Envywhen someone else has the thing you wanted Exams and testsfor the older ones feeling the squeeze
F
Fear and nightmaresthe things that come at night Friendshipmaking friends, and falling out Fosteringliving with a foster family Feeling differentthe odd one out First daysnursery, a new school, a new class Fussy eatingthe plate that comes back full
G
Growing upwanting to be bigger, missing being little Gratitudenoticing the good bits Grandparentsloving them, and losing them Griefsee Death and grief, under D
Guilt and owning upwhen you did it, and telling somebody is the hard partsoon
H
Homesicknessmissing home at a sleepover or camp Honestylittle lies, and the truth Hospitalbeing poorly, or visiting someone who is Hopethe light when things feel heavy
I
Illness in the familywhen a grown-up is unwell Imaginationmake-believe and dressing up Doing It myselfthe pull to be independent
Illness that does not go awayasthma, diabetes, allergies, the medicine every daysoon
J
Jealousy and sibling rivalrythe green-eyed monster at home Joy and sillinessbeing gloriously daft Jobs and choreswhose turn it is
K
Kindnessto others, and to yourself Keeping calmfinding the off switch
L
Lonelinessfeeling left out Losing something loveda toy, a blanket, a pet Lyingsee Honesty, under H Listeningand being properly heard
Learning that will not stickmaths, spelling, handwriting, feeling thicksoon
M
Moving houseleaving the old bedroom behind Mannersplease and thank you Mistakesgetting it wrong, and going again Money worriesnot having what the others have Meltdownswhen everything becomes too much
Missing someonethe grandparent abroad, the friend who moved, the parent awaysoon
N
Naturemud, sticks and wonder Nervesbutterflies before the big thing A New country, a New languagestarting again somewhere strange Nightmaressee Fear and nightmares, under F
O
Overwhelmtoo much noise, too much everything Only childor longing for a brother or sister Being Onlinescreens, for the older ones Optimismsee Hope, under H
P
Petswanting one, loving one, losing one Patiencethe agony of waiting When Parents arguegrown-ups falling out Perfectionismit has to be just right
Peer pressuregoing along with it when you would rather notsoon
Q
The big Questionsabout God, and where babies come from Quiet timeneeding to be alone for a while Quarrelsfalling out, and making up
R
Racism and differencethe unfairness a child starts to notice The Reluctant Readerthe child who just won’t Rules and boundariesand pushing against them Routineswhy the same order helps
Rejectionnot picked, not invited, not wanted backsoon
S
Starting schoolbeing left at the gate Siblingssee Sibling rivalry, under J Shynesshanging back at the edge of things Social anxietywhen being watched is the frightening part Sharing and taking turnsthe hardest lesson of all Some brains work differentlydyslexia, dyspraxia, and other ways of thinking
Sports, clubs and quittingthe coach, the bench, wanting to stopsoon
When school feels impossiblethe mornings that end in the hallwaysoon
Secrets and tellinggood surprises, bad secrets, and when to speaksoon
Stepfamiliesmaking room for new peoplesoon
Screens and switching offthe daily battle over the tabletsoon
T
Tantrums and big feelingsthe storm that takes them over Trying new thingsthe wobble before the leap Toilet trainingthe long goodbye to nappies Wobbly Teethand the tooth fairy’s visit
U
Understanding othersstanding in someone else’s shoes Unfairnessthat’s not fair Unmistakably yourselfwhen it’s easier to blend in
V
Visitinga mum or dad who lives somewhere else now Finding your Voicespeaking up for yourself and others Values, right and wrongworking out what you believe
W
The World and the newswhen the world outside feels scary Wonderthe ordinary things that stop you in your tracks When the words won’t comethe child who goes quiet Worriessee Anxiety and worry, under A
When a parent is awaywork, deployment, hospital, the weeks without themsoon
Washing, teeth and haircutsthe everyday body battles with a small childsoon
Who I fancy, who I amquestions about being gay, and about gendersoon
X
eXtra big feelingsthe ones too large to fit eXploringthe urge to wander and push the edges
Y
Young carersthe child quietly looking after a grown-up Your body is yoursyes, no, and who is allowed to touch Yearningwanting what you can’t have
Z
Zzzz, sleep and settlingthe child who can’t wind down Can’t sit stillthe Zoomy, full-of-beans one Zestthe loud, joyful child, and where to point all that fizz

These pages are written for the grown-ups looking after a child: parents, teachers and carers. A good book can sit beside a worried child, though it never stands in for a real conversation, or for proper support when something feels too big to carry alone. If you need that now, here are the numbers.

The library is still growing.

New topics are being added all the time. If there is something your family is facing that you cannot find here, tell me and I will look for the books. It is how most of these pages got written.

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Chosen by Georgia Clare, author, bibliotherapist and mother of two, for Book Quote Therapy.