A book can help with
For the child who dreads the waiting room and the big chair.
A trip to the doctor or the dentist can loom enormous for a small child, all strange smells, odd instruments and the fear of something that might hurt. A fraught appointment can set the tone for years, so a bit of calm preparation beforehand is worth a great deal.
What helps changes as they grow. A little one needs to know what the room looks like and what the chair does. An older child knows all that already and is frightened of something more specific, usually the needle, and would rather be handed something to do about it than be told there is nothing to worry about. By eleven or twelve what tends to help most is simply somebody else’s story, and the discovery that they are not the only one who dreads it.
Here is what I’d reach for. Find your child’s age and start there. If it is a hospital stay or an operation rather than an appointment, there is a separate page for that.
First visits
For the littlest ones it’s all about the unknown. These gentle, familiar books show the whole thing as ordinary and safe, from the comfort of your lap.
The Topsy and Tim twins go along to the doctor’s, and everything that happens, the waiting room, the check-up and the reassurance, is shown as ordinary and safe. It’s a gentle, matter-of-fact British staple that’s calmed generations of small children before an appointment. Simple enough for a toddler, and exactly the right level of detail.
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A bright, interactive flap-and-wheel book that walks a toddler through a first trip to the dentist, opening wide, counting teeth, the whole friendly business. The flaps give small hands something to do while the reassurance goes in, and it takes the fear out of the big chair before they ever sit in it. Good for the run-up to a first check-up.
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Why don’t animals need toothbrushes, and why do baby teeth fall out anyway? Over thirty flaps, gentle jokes and answers a three year old can actually hold on to. It turns the nightly argument into something they are curious about, which is the only route that works.
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Knowing what to expect
A slightly older child wants to know the how and the why. These answer the real questions calmly, and treat the whole thing as the ordinary event it is.
One of Usborne’s First Experiences books, this follows a family to the doctor’s, calmly explaining a check-up and even an injection in clear, unfrightening terms, with plenty to spot and talk about on each page. It answers the questions a slightly older child actually has, and treats it all as the everyday event it is. A reassuring one to read together beforehand.
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Charley is nervous about going to the dentist to have his wobbly tooth looked at, and Maisy comes along to keep him company, in Lucy Cousins’s bright, friendly style. It’s honest that being a bit scared is normal, and shows the visit turning out perfectly fine. A cheerful way to settle nerves before a dentist trip.
or on Bookshop.org
Past being told it won’t hurt
By seven a child knows exactly what the room looks like and is not reassured by being told it will be fine. What helps now is understanding what is actually being done to them, and finding out that somebody else has been through a great deal worse.
Raina falls over after Girl Scouts at eleven and wrecks her two front teeth, and what follows is years of it: braces on and off, surgery, headgear, a retainer with false teeth attached, all while she is trying to survive school. A graphic memoir, so it goes down fast. For the child who feels like the only one who lives at the dentist.
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A doctor explaining the entire body to children, from blood and bones to why you have earwax, with a joke on every page and not a word of talking down in it. What it does for this page is simple: a child who understands what is happening to them is a good deal less frightened by it. Gross enough to guarantee it gets read.
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Understanding it, and not being the only one
By this age what helps is rarely preparation. It is knowing what is really being done and why, and discovering that somebody else has dreaded every bit of it too.
The companion volume, and the one about being frightened. Raina’s stomach trouble will not go away, the appointments keep coming, and it turns out to be tangled up with worrying about food, school and friends. She ends up learning what to do with the fear rather than being told there is nothing to fear. Honest about how long that takes.
or on Bookshop.org
A gruesome history of what medicine has done to people over the centuries, by a doctor who is very funny and spares nobody. It is an odd sort of comfort: whatever is happening at the appointment, it was considerably worse in 1650. Best for a child with a reasonably strong stomach.
or on Bookshop.org
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Something to do together
A simple picture-guide to what happens at a check-up, and a little bravery chart for after, so the visit feels known rather than scary. I’m making it now, and it will live here soon.
Most of a child’s fear at the doctor or dentist is fear of the unknown, and a book quietly dismantles that by showing them the whole thing in advance, from the safety of your lap.
So read one in the days before you go, keep your own manner calm and matter-of-fact, and make a small fuss of them afterwards. A child who knows what’s coming, and trusts that you’re not worried, copes far better in the chair.
These pages are written for the grown-ups looking after a child: parents, teachers and carers. A good book can sit beside a worried child, though it never stands in for a real conversation, or for proper support when something feels too big to carry alone.