A book can help with
For the child who wakes at two in the morning, certain something is under the bed.
Childhood fears are rarely reasonable, and telling a frightened child there’s nothing there almost never works, because to them, at two in the morning, there very much is. Monsters, bad dreams, the thing at the window: a young imagination is powerful, and it doesn’t switch off just because the light goes on.
A book meets the fear on its own ground rather than arguing with it. Many of the best ones shrink the monster by making it funny, or turn it into a friend, or show a child facing the thing they dread and finding it far less terrible than they’d built it up to be. That does more than reassurance ever could.
Here’s what I’d reach for. Find your child’s age and start there.
Frightened and small
At this age fear is the dark, or a noise, or being left, and reassurance does more than explanation ever will. Each of these ends with somebody coming to find them.
Little Bear cannot settle because of the dark, and Big Bear keeps fetching larger and larger lanterns before finally carrying him outside to look at the moon. The dark is never argued with or explained away. One of the great bedtime books, and it works just as well in the afternoon.
or on Bookshop.org
Bear is caught out in the woods in a storm, loses his way and is properly frightened, and his friends go out into the dark to find him. The whole point of it is that a very large bear is allowed to be scared. Rhyming and repetitive, so toddlers join in with the refrain.
or on Bookshop.org
Monsters and bad dreams
At this age fears take solid shape: something under the bed, something in the cupboard. These shrink the monster by making it silly, or turning it into a friend.
A boy decides to confront the nightmare he’s certain lives in his cupboard, and finds a large, weepy creature who turns out to be more frightened than he is. Turning the monster into something rather pitiful takes all the terror out of it, and children love the switch. A classic that’s soothed bedtime fears for decades.
or on Bookshop.org
Die-cut pages build a monster face piece by piece, then let a child banish it feature by feature, until nothing is left but the dark. It hands a frightened child something powerful: the sense that they can send the monster away themselves. Brilliantly simple, and a great deal of fun to shout along with.
or on Bookshop.org
Facing the fear
Older children can take a fuller story about facing what frightens them, and about finding that the dreaded thing shrinks once you look straight at it.
Tiger has a friendly monster under her bed who fights off her nightmares each night, until one nightmare gets too big for either of them alone. It’s a warm, gorgeously drawn graphic novel about facing a fear together rather than hiding from it. Great for a newly independent reader who likes comics, and reassuring without being babyish.
or on Bookshop.org
A boy who dreams of being an astronaut is nonetheless terrified of the dark, until watching the moon landing shows him that the dark is where the wonder is. Written by the real astronaut Chris Hadfield about his own childhood fear, it turns being scared into the start of something rather than a weakness. Inspiring, and lovely at bedtime.
or on Bookshop.org
Naming the thing
Older children can look at a fear directly and want to know what it actually is. One of these is a story to enjoy being frightened by, and the other is a plan.
Charlie’s nightmares begin following him out of the dream world, so he stops sleeping to avoid them. It is frightening in the way a child chooses for themselves, and the fear turns out to have a cause worth going after. Best for a child who likes the spooky end of things.
or on Bookshop.org
A step-by-step guide written straight to the older child, built on the cognitive behavioural approach a therapist would use. It gives worry a name and a set of moves to use against it. Dry in places, and children who want a plan rather than a story tend to get straight on with it.
or on Bookshop.org
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Something to do together
A page for drawing the scary thing and then making it as silly as possible, plus a simple ‘monster spray’ bedtime ritual to try together. I’m making it now, and it will live here soon.
Arguing a child out of a fear rarely works, because the fear isn’t built on logic. What these books do instead is give the frightened thing a shape a child can look at, laugh at, and eventually put down.
So take the fear seriously even when it makes no sense, avoid teasing, and let them have the nightlight for as long as they need it. Most childhood fears fade on their own; if one is stopping your child sleeping or doing ordinary things for weeks on end, your doctor can point you to further help.
For you, the grown-up
There’s a companion page for grown-ups over on the main Book Quote Therapy library, with books for adults facing their own fears.
Read the grown-up version →These pages are written for the grown-ups looking after a child: parents, teachers and carers. A good book can sit beside a worried child, though it never stands in for a real conversation, or for proper support when something feels too big to carry alone.