A book can help with
For the child at the sleepover who wants to come home at half past nine.
Homesickness catches children off guard. They’re thrilled about the sleepover right up until the lights go out, and then the missing arrives all at once, and it aches in a way they can’t explain. It happens at camp, at a relative’s house, sometimes on the second night rather than the first.
A book helps in the days beforehand, because it names the feeling in advance and makes it ordinary rather than shameful. It also gives you something to leave in their bag, along with the idea that the tie between you stretches easily and doesn’t break, however far they go.
Here’s what I’d reach for. Find your child’s age and start there.
Still connected
For the very youngest, being apart at all is the thing. These reassure that the bond holds even when you’re not in the room.
The idea is simple and lovely: everyone you love is joined to you by an invisible string that stretches wherever you go, so you’re never truly apart. It gives a small child something to picture when they’re missing you, which is exactly what’s needed at bedtime somewhere unfamiliar. Families come back to it again and again.
or on Bookshop.org
Three owl babies wake to find their mother gone, and wait, and worry, until she sweeps back to the branch. It captures the ache of missing someone and the enormous relief of their return, and its steady message is that they always come back. A gentle classic for the child who frets when you’re out of sight.
or on Bookshop.org
First nights away
Now they’re old enough for a first night away, and these show a character doing exactly that and coming home proud.
Ira is delighted about his first sleepover until he faces the great question of whether to bring his teddy, and whether his friend will laugh. It’s funny and tender about the small anxieties of a first night away, and the ending is a relief for every child who still needs something to cuddle. A perfect read before a first sleepover.
or on Bookshop.org
Chester Raccoon’s mother kisses his palm so he can press it to his cheek whenever he misses her, and carry her love with him wherever he goes. It gives a child something concrete to hold onto when the missing starts. Works just as well for a night away as for a first day at school.
or on Bookshop.org
Camps and longer stays
Longer stays away bring a deeper sort of homesickness. A funny story about surviving it does more good than reassurance.
Benny’s home life has fallen apart and he longs for how things used to be, in a warm, funny novel about missing not just a place but a version of your family. It’s honest about the ache without ever being heavy. Good for a child whose homesickness runs deeper than a night away.
or on Bookshop.org
Three toys venture out into the world beyond their child’s bedroom, worrying about being lost and longing for home. It’s charming and often very funny, and it lets a child think about missing home from a comfortable distance. Lovely as a read-aloud in the run-up to a trip away.
or on Bookshop.org
Homesick for somewhere gone
Older children can be homesick for a place they are not going back to, which is a different ache from missing your own bedroom for a week. These are about that kind.
Anna is nine when her family leaves Germany overnight, and the book follows the years afterwards through Switzerland, France and England, with her pink rabbit left behind in Berlin. Judith Kerr was writing her own childhood. It is warm and often funny, and the loss of home sits underneath every page.
or on Bookshop.org
Maia is orphaned and sent from her London school to relatives on the Amazon, expecting a family and finding one that barely tolerates her. The homesickness is properly felt before the adventure arrives to take her mind off it. Ibbotson writes the river so well that the strange place slowly becomes the home.
or on Bookshop.org
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Something to do together
A little card to tuck into their bag with a photo and a note from you, plus a simple plan for what to do when the missing bites at bedtime. I’m making it now, and it will live here soon.
Homesickness is really just love with nowhere to put itself, and it passes far quicker than a child fears, usually by breakfast. Naming it beforehand takes away the shame of it.
So send something of home along with them, keep your goodbye warm and confident, and avoid promising to fetch them at the first wobble. Most children come home rather proud of themselves, which is worth a great deal.
These pages are written for the grown-ups looking after a child: parents, teachers and carers. A good book can sit beside a worried child, though it never stands in for a real conversation, or for proper support when something feels too big to carry alone.